I did the trip with my (just-turned) 3 year old last October. We did longer days than you have planned, but we made stops when folks needed them (we were also traveling with my mom who has a very bad back and needs to get out and move every so often). We followed the same strategies with nap times and what not. The lad is used to being strapped in the car (he has joined us on several road trips starting at 3 months old). To make things even harder on ourselves, we had just started potty training, so this was an adventure!
We tried to keep our days no longer than 8 hours, and if we did have a really long haul (8+ hours), we tried to take a day off and relax. We made the long haul from Bozeman to Keystone, and spent 2 nights there checking out Mt Rushmore, the Wind Cave, etc. We had a chance to burn off some steam. It turns out that was a good thing, as we ended up running smack into a really nasty storm that had wind gusts between 65-70 mph with snow and ice. Luckily we had head/tail winds...we later learned semis were being blown over. That storm made for some really long, hard, stressful days. I was so happy to hit Wyoming! It stopped there.
We had hotels booked for the first few days, just so we were covered, but the rest of the trip we booked as we went, or just pulled in. With the storm, that was a lucky thing because we didn't quite make it to some of our planned stops (just had to stop due to fatigue, and we had all been in the car long enough). Just stay as flexible as possible, don't put too much pressure on yourself, and remember, everything will work out. Not sure about you, but this is something I have to remind myself, even at home (that type A personality, I suppose).
The first day we set out, we realized the movies hadn't loaded properly onto my iPad, so we were out of luck there, and it may have been a blessing. With a lot of video media, my guy gets a little amped. Here are a few things we did instead:
- One thing he spent hours with is the TAG reading system (he 'reads' a lot that way at home too). He has had it since his first birthday, and loves using the pen to play games, listen to stories, see what sounds the pictures make, etc. They have a Jr model now that would probably be great for your daughter. It just takes books to the next level and helps them entertain themselves for a bit. The Jr books are board books too, so they are nice and sturdy for the wee ones. Make sure you carry some extra batteries with you!
Jr:
http://www.amazon.com/LeapFrog-Tag-...R200/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1302552816&sr=8-2
Reg:
http://www.amazon.com/LeapFrog-TAG-...=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1302552933&sr=1-1
- We made sure to have loads of snacks and drinks handy too (healthy things, and we especially love the little applesauce 'crushers' from Trader Joes and mini-carrots...really keeps the mess down too!). We don't eat fast food (it is a once or twice a year thing and there is only one place we go, which is local to the Northwest), so we liked to stop and make some sandwiches, have an apple, and eating more noramlly helped with our energy levels and kept us more stable during the drive (we got less annoyed with each other too).
- On occasion, one of us would sit in the back with him. We played different music the whole way which was great (at one point he told us, 'all of the country music is turning me into a cowboy!').
- We tried to sing songs, as much as the lad would let us. We practiced our counting and the ABCs. We would point out the wind turbines, when we saw animals we would ask him what they were (and what sounds they make...still not exactly sure what sound a llama makes...I have heard it, but don't remember), we counted how many trains we saw, the first person to see the city won, we looked for different letters and had him identify things. We had him looking out as much as possible. He started seeing things before we did and would point things out to us. That was great! We also played 'what color is that?' I am sure you will find games to create along the way too.
- During stops we would get out, 'go potty', and either have a little hike or play a game of chase to get the ants out of our pants. Usually that wore him out (we would run until he said stop), and we would get at least 2 more hours out of him. If there weren't people around that we could disturb, we would turn up the music and have a dance party. The beauty of the midwest is their wonderfully unhealthy obsession with water parks (I found this to be one of the most awesome surprises of the trip...I had never been to the Midwest before, and I loved the water parks everywhere). Our guy loves to swim, so when we stayed at a hotel, we would swim at night and burn some energy off that way too. That really helped (we do a lot of swimming at home too) and he could sleep through some pretty noisy hotels. Talking about the swimming pool at the hotel kept him engaged and excited about getting to the next place, so he was a little more patient in the car too.
- The other thing we had was the crayola magic color pens and paper. They only make color when you use their special paper, they wont mark walls or interior...a great option if she likes to color. We got something like this, which gave him a hard surface to color on:
http://www.amazon.com/Crayola-Wond...=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1302553180&sr=1-3
One tip, if you can help it, make sure if you are heading out close to nap time, you have plenty of fuel in the car to get you all the way through nap time, if you have a kid that wakes up when the car stops. I do, and the lad always falls asleep in the car at the worst possible time (first night, it was 10 minutes from our final destination).
Not sure if you have stops already planned, but a great national website to check is www.trekaroo.com. It is a website devoted to traveling with kids and there are reviews from other parents about different activities all over the US. We used it to get some ideas (I also use it at home when it is raining and we have exhausted all of our activities!).
One last thing, in case you are wondering, the little bunks can use crib sheets (I find they fit the best). You might consider taking one with you.
Hope that helps. Let me know if you have other questions.